


Another Year Older

by PilotInTheStars



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Birthdays, Gen, Newborns, little kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PilotInTheStars/pseuds/PilotInTheStars
Summary: Little kids grow up too fast, especially Jacen.Introspection during Jacen's first few birthdays.
Relationships: Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios & Hera Syndulla, Hera Syndulla & Jacen Syndulla
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Another Year Older

**Author's Note:**

> Damn mads, back at it again with the Hera and Jacen feels. 
> 
> This is really short and kind of a hot mess, but uhhhhhh....

Hera opened her eyes at the sound of someone gently opening the door. She lifted her head to see Zeb quietly walking into the small room. 

“Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Hera glanced down at the newborn baby in her arms, his skin pink, eyes completely shut. Her heart swelled every time she looked at him; she traced his cheek to remind herself he was real.

“It’s alright.” 

Zeb looked down at the little one in her arms. 

“I hope you’ve been able to get some rest.”

“I’ve tried.” 

An hour after Jacen had been born, they had gotten the report that the Death Star had been destroyed- she had tried to get all the information she could, until a medic forced her to sit back and rest.

_ The other leaders have taken care of it, you’ve fought your own battle today.  _

There was a bassinet by her bedside, but she hadn’t put him in it yet. All she wanted to do was to hold him, and he slept peacefully, even as  Hera placed the baby in Zeb’s arms. Jacen gave no qualms, his eyes still shut. 

“He’s perfect,” Zeb said quietly, gently adjusting Jacen’s blanket. After a moment he continued. “He… he looks like Kanan.” 

Hera couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes, and quickly wiped at them. 

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Hera chose to smile, even though her heart truly grieved. “He does.” 

_ Kanan, I wish you were here to meet him. _

Jacen opened his mouth, finding his voice to wail, and Zeb gently placed him back in his mother’s arms. 

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Zeb said, giving them one last smile, beaming down at Jacen. 

Hera couldn’t help but grin too as she gently rocked Jacen, knowing that he was loved by so many people. 

* * *

On the eve of Jacen’s first birthday, Hera cried. She wasn’t entirely sure why, perhaps a combination of both motherly pride and a spontaneous feeling of overwhelming grief, that Kanan was gone, never to see his son grow up. 

_ How did a year go by so fast?  _

No one was the wiser if she took him out of his crib and held him for a bit before she went to bed. 

He had gotten so big, on the verge of toddlerhood, but still her baby, with his pudgy hands and pudgy feet, and his big blue eyes, just like Kanan’s, just like his eyes before Malachor. He was pulling himself up to stand in his crib, a bright smile on his face whenever she went to pick him up. 

Hera kissed the top of his head, her mind drifting to the ingredients they had saved up for in the galley, for a little birthday cake. Sabine had already surprised him with a little stuffed wolf, which he adored. 

Hera pulled her knees closer to her chest, holding her baby closer to her.  She tried to imagine his second birthday, his third, and found she couldn’t. 

Her mother had once told her to “enjoy the present,” a lesson and moral Hera never understood until recently. 

Her eyelids were beginning to droop, she needed to put him back in his crib before she drifted off, but for now, she was glad to just hold him.

* * *

Jacen ran up, hopped up onto the seat, and plopped himself onto his mother’s lap. Hera tried to hide the air being thrown out of her lungs. Sooner than later, he’d be too big to sit in her lap. Hera didn’t want to think about it. 

“Mama?”

She set her datapad on the table. “What’s up, buddy?”

His bright blue eyes met hers. “It’s my birthday tomorrow.”

“It is.” It had, in fact, been the third time he’d mentioned that today. She adjusted him on her lap. “It’s your fifth birthday tomorrow.” 

Jacen grinned.

“Are you excited?”

“I am.” 

Jacen put his head on your shoulder. 

“Your birthday was a couple months ago, right, Mama?”

“Mmhmm.” 

“How old are you?”

Hera couldn’t help but chuckle. “34.”

“‘Bine’s birthday is in a couple weeks, right?” 

“Yep. Your birthdays were always close together. You two shared a cake one year.”

Jacen looked down. 

“When’s Daddy’s birthday?”

Hera couldn’t help but feel her heart drop and she hoped her son couldn’t hear it. 

“It’s a few months from now,” she said softly. 

_ You’d be 38, love.  _

It would be a lie to say that Hera didn’t think constantly, of all the years she thought the two of them had. 

_ I miss you terribly.  _

Jacen didn’t say much else. Hera didn’t think she’d ever met a child who had  _ felt  _ as intensely as he did, maybe from the Force, maybe just from his heart. 

“What do you want to do for your birthday, buddy?”

Jacen shrugged. “I dunno.” He looked up at her. 

“Well, you have some time to decide,” she said, ruffling his hair. “But it’s about time for you to go to bed.”

Jacen didn’t argue, and they both walked to his room. He hopped up onto the bed and Hera pulled up the blankets, kissing his forehead. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said sleepily. Hera moved to turn off the lights and watched for a brief moment as he rolled over, blankets bunched around him as he began to drift off into a good night’s sleep, on his birthday’s eve. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
